(c) 2009, Timothy P. Bete and Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall




Top 10 things overheard
at the dinner table
that show your child
is quickly becoming a pirate

(10) “You can flog me, but I’m not eating creamed spinach.”

(9) “I’ve buried me treasure in the mashed potatoes.”

(8) “I’ll need another ration of grog if you expect me to eat these peas.”

(7) “Your tuna noodle casserole would be perfect to fill cracks in the deck.”

(6) “This chicken tastes like the parrot I was forced to eat after being marooned on an island for 30 days.”

(5) “I wouldn’t serve brussel sprouts to even the prisoners in the brig.”

(4) “If I eat all my food, can I plunder the neighbors before I go to bed?”

(3) “This burger is fatty enough to grease a mast.”

(2) “Too many vegetables—too little shark.”

(1) “What did they do with the last cook’s body after he was hung from the yardarm?”



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Guide to Pirate Parenting

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's
The hysterically funny parody of parenting advice books

The paperback version of
Guide to Pirate Parenting
is available from ThinkGeek.com.