(c) 2009, Timothy P. Bete and Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall

Top 10 malicious behaviors that 
are signs of a healthy young pirate

(10) Stuck sibling’s hook in an electrical outlet.

(9) Replaced all the gunpowder with baking powder right before a big battle.

(8) Watered down the rum.

(7) Tried the old “putting black shoe polish on the inside of dad’s eye patch” trick.

(6) Flushed sibling’s goldfish during a “burial at sea” but didn’t wait until the fish were dead to do it.

(5) Put termites on Cap’n Billy’s wooden leg.

(4) On Halloween, replaced the traditional trick-or-treat greeting with “Your money or your life!”

(3) Threw live sharks in the neighbor’s hot tub.

(2) Told teacher his homework was “eaten by a giant barracuda when the family’s ship wrecked on a coral reef near the Dry Tortugas.”

(1) Plagiarrrrrrized a homeworrrrrk reporrrrrrt about Gerrrrald Forrrrrrd.

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Guide to Pirate Parenting

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's
The hysterically funny parody of parenting advice books

The paperback version of
Guide to Pirate Parenting
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